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Characteristics of a sex-positive environment include the following:

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Each individual is honored, respected, and supported as a beautiful sexy creature.

All sexes and genders are awesome.

All relationship models are legitimate & many are fun and exciting. 

All sexual orientations are amazing.

All gender identities are beautiful & unique.

In sex-positive environments there is freedom of sexual expression between consenting adults

as long as they are performed with informed consent, safely and sanely. 

All forms of gender expression are magickal.

Sex is sacred.

Each individual communicates honestly and explicitly with one another about their needs and desires.

Sex-positive environments are judgement free.

 

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Honoring Each Individual

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In a sex-positive environment there is no room for judgement.  Each individual is honored, respected, and supported.  I would go even further to say that each individual is worshipped as a sacred being.  Yes, we each have our faults.  Yet in spite of our negative side, we each are divine beings.  In a sex-positive environment, it is a space to be a divine being and see each other as divine beings.  It takes a conscious effort to develop this attitude, but in a sex-positive environment, for a limited time we can bring our divine nature to the surface.  I have experienced this in Aphrodite’s Temple, a modern day Sacred Sex Temple.  It works.

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In ancient sacred sex temples, in many cultures around the world, people went to the temple not only to worship a deity  but also to be worshiped as a divine being.  Can you imagine entering a sex-positive environment and being worshipped as a divine sexy being?

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Sex and Gender

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Many people in our society believe in the myth that there are only two genders, female and male.  The truth is that there are more than two genders.  There are people who are born as hermaphrodites.  There are others who are born Intersex having mixed genitalia.  There are other individuals who are transsexuals.  Sex is not a binary system, it is a diverse spectrum.

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Gender Identity

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Gender identity is not about the genitals that we are born with.  It is about how we identify with our bodies.  There are many different types of gender identity.  If one is born with female genitalia and identifies with themselves as female, then one's gender identity is female.  If one is born with male genitalia and identifies with themselves as male, then one's gender identity is male.  This may seem obvious, and these two gender identities are straightforward. 

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Yet things can get complicated!  It is when one is born with male genitalia and identifies as female, or is born with female genitalia and identifies as male, or is born with mixed genitalia and identifies as male, female, or intersex then things become much more complex.  To add to the complexity, one could be born with male genitals or female genitals and not identify with being either female or male.  In some Native American cultures there is the concept of the Third Gender or Two-Spirit.

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Gender Expression

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In a sex-positive environment, all forms of gender expression are celebrated.  Gender bending is different from gender identity.  Many individuals enjoy exploring and playing with a different gender role.  I have had girlfriends who enjoyed being the male for a night of sex play.  Normally they identified as female, but enjoyed exploring their masculine nature from time to time.  We each have the capacity to become gender fluid in our sexual expression.  I love being gender fluid and expressing myself in many ways.  I can be a girl, boy toy, sex slave, hermaphrodite, 3rd gender, or androgynous.  I embrace my right to reclaim freedom of gender expression!

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Relationship Models

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Below are many different types of relationship models.  Each of these are successfully practiced within our society by many individuals.  Yet many are not recognized as legitimate and many are seen as taboo in a sex-negative society.

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Monogamous Relationships

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A monogamous relationship is a relationship between two individuals where each individual in the relationship is a virgin when they start the relationship and maintain sexual fidelity throughout the relationship.  This is a committed relationship with the commitment lasting a lifetime.  Contrary to popular beliefs, I find that true monogamy is rare.

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Serial Monogamous Relationship

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When people talk about monogamy, they usually mean serial monogamy.  A serial monogamous relationship is a relationship between two individuals who choose to maintain sexual fidelity throughout the relationship. Once one serial monogamous relationship ends, another may begin.  One of these serial relationships may end up lasting a lifetime, but does not necessarily need to.  One or both partners may or may not necessarily be a virgin when the relationship begins.   

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Poly-Fidelity Relationship

 

A poly-fidelity relationship is a relationship between three or more individuals who choose to maintain sexual fidelity with each individual in the relationship.  This can be a long-term or short-term relationship.

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Polyamorous Relationship with Restrictions

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A relationship between two or more individuals where one or more in the primary relationship choose to have sexual relationships outside of the primary partnership under certain restrictions that restrict who they may be involved with.  

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Polyamorous Relationship

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A relationship between two or more individuals where one or more in the primary relationship choose to have sexual relationships outside the primary partnership without any restrictions on who they may get involved with.  Most require that safe sex practices be used.  This can be a long-term or short-term relationship. 

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Friends With Benefits or Fuck Buddies

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Fuck buddies is a relationship that is based purely on sex without becoming emotionally bonded, becoming romantically involved, and without attachment.   This can be a long-term or short-term relationship.  This type of relationship is all about fucking with no strings attached.

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Anonymous Sexual Encounters

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An anonymous sexual encounter is a sexual encounter between two or more individuals who do not know one another. These are usually one-time encounters, and sex is the primary focus. 

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Sacred Sex

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Sacred sex is a sexual relationship between a sacred sex practitioner and one or more partners.  The primary focus of the relationship is spiritual in nature and often involves healing on a psychosexual level.  This can be a long-term or short-term relationship. 

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Sex Worker / Prostitute

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A sexual relationship which is basically sex for hire.  A sex worker provides sexual services in exchange for money.

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BDSM Sex Play

 

While many like to keep sex and BDSM separate, many love the combination.  There are many forms of BDSM sex play.  Examples include but are not limited to:  sex slave, “forced” sex, anal play, exhibitionist masturbation performance and many others. 

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Sexual Orientation

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Sexual orientation is a classification system.  It is not about who has sex with whom.  It is about sexual attraction.  One can be a total virgin, never having had sex with anyone, and still have a sexual orientation.  Today, in our culture, there are four recognized and accepted clinical definitions of sexual orientation: heterosexual, homosexual, asexual, and bisexual.  Heterosexuality is defined as a person who is sexually attracted to members of the opposite sex exclusively.  Homosexuality is defined as a person who is sexually attracted to members of the same sex exclusively.  Bisexuality is defined as a person who is sexually attracted to members of either sex.  Asexual individuals are not interested in sex.  

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Freedom of Sexual Expression

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In our sex-negative culture many sexual acts are considered taboo and off limits.  I find it ironic that we live in the land of freedom, yet it is forbidden to be sexually expressive within adult consensual environments.  Except in special private environments, nudity in an adult-only environment is forbidden.  We are required to wear clothes.  Why is the nude body so dangerous that laws govern what areas of the body are required to be covered?  Or, take masturbation for example. There are many taboos around masturbation.  Why would someone want to masturbate instead of being with a partner?

 

Why is a masturbation show for an adult audience who gives consent considered taboo?  Is masturbation so evil that we will be damaged if we watch or could it be that masturbation is awesome?  Exhibitionism combined with masturbation is fun and exciting!  I consider some types of sex as being a form of performance art.  I love putting on masturbation performance art presentations.  I also like to watch others.  By watching, I have learned some interesting techniques.

 

In our culture violence is put on display and is glorified.  Sexual expression is off limits. 

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A State of Ecstasy

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Through sex we are able to reach a state of ecstasy.  When we are in a state of ecstasy, we are in fact in a higher state of consciousness.  We are in tune with the moment and we are fully present with our partner.  We are in a sacred state of being.